Monday, May 24, 2010

Numb


I don't know why, or exactly how to explain, but today I feel numb. I feel completely void of emotions for some reason. My sweet, wonderful boyfriend came over for the afternoon and he was so happy to see me. I feel bad because I think I was happy to see him too, but I couldn't feel it. Maybe it's the pain meds. Maybe it's the pain. I am not quite sure but I just don't feel like me. I guess since my health has been so bad the past few months I feel this way often. And then guilt kicks in. I begin to feel guilty because I am not a good friend, girlfriend, sister, daughter or employee. That's all for now. :/
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6 comments:

  1. JennMay 25, 2010 at 10:37 AM

    I know the feeling...or lack thereof. I have been trying to work on letting go of the guilt though. I'm realizing guilt just makes things worse, never better. I hope it helps to know I feel this way too (or maybe it is more accurate to say I have days I don't feel too) & my feelings do return. :)

    Take care,
    Jenn

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  2. JenniMay 25, 2010 at 1:09 PM

    It's okay to feel numb sometimes. I think feeling guilty comes along with it most of the time, but it's not necessary. The people who know and love you will try to understand, and you will probably try and make up for not feeling, as soon as you feel a little bit better. I have the same (not)feelings, and that's what happens with me.

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  3. HannahMay 25, 2010 at 1:52 PM

    Oh, I could completely understand it being the pain meds. And I've been trying my best not to live motivated by guilt, or have any guilt, but it is hard.

    Hope you're feeling a little better! Hugs & prayers.

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  4. junebugMay 25, 2010 at 8:41 PM

    ((Hugs)) I know the feeling and hope you feel better soon.
    ICLW

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  5. Room to ThinkMay 26, 2010 at 12:00 AM

    feeling numb doesn't make you a bad anything. isn't it annoying that while we can feel numb, we can also feel guilt...

    may you be completely overflowing with joy as of today! and be gone pain!!!

    jos

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  6. JellyBellyMay 27, 2010 at 7:12 PM

    I hate feeling numb, but sometimes when I'm really sad I wish that I could conjure up some numbness. I think that when we deal with chronic pain our bodies turn some of our receptors off so we can function. I have no idea if that makes sense, but it's a theory.

    Sending you hugs!

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