Fighting Anxiety...

First of all, I must say that I have an awesome surgeon/gyn. He has a holistic view of medicine and deep down I can trust him. Anyway, with all of this pain I have been really putting my faith in the laparoscopy. Each day I tell myself that the surgery will make it all better. Well, Dr. R. snapped me back into reality!! *sad face* I am grateful that he is realistic but it really shattered my dreams of being cured next week! During my pre-op appointment today he told me that we can hope they find something they can fix, but even if they do, I may not be out of pain. He also warned that it is also likely they won't find anything to remove and that's when I nearly burried my head in my lap and cried. I know it's common sense that laparoscopic surgery is not always curative, but I guess it's just been what I could hold on to to get me through. And now I don't know what to grasp. Yes, I am a Christian, and I do trust the Lord, but I am also pretty down to earth, and I can easily admit that my faith is faulty at times. It is so hard to trust God when He's really just not that tangible... I guess it is something to work through during these Percocet filled days...