Another Post-Op Update

Well, I am 20 days post op now. I am back at work as of yesterday and the pain is moderate. I'll take that over completely debilitating any day! Last week they started me on Depo-provera to decrease chances of endo returning. I am somewhat hesitant about this for 2 reasons:

Not that I have to worry about my weight, but the dr. said it would increase my appetite, so that should help my continued eating disorder recovery. Luckily I am in a place where I don't panic at the thought, but it was still a little scary.

Also, I am lactose intolerant, therefore I get my calcium intake from supplements. I know Depo can decrease bone density and I already have some of the risk factors. Answer: we will test my bone density in one year.

For now, I will trust the docs on that.

The most annoying part of this whole situation is the "bathroom" issue. I still cannot GO! I am sooo constipated all the time and it is just a nightmare, and I am sure a major source of the pain. :( Poor stopped up me. I am working on it... fiber, stool softeners, fruit and veggies and TONS of water!!!

Hope to be out of pain soon, but it's great to be working (through the pain) and not home laying in bed feeling worthless. I continue to praise God for giving me such gracious employers throughout this whole ordeal!!!

Oh, I almost forgot, I had my first ever acupuncture appointment on Friday!! I loved it! I hope it helps. I think I will go back next week. :)

Recovering??

This laparoscopy has NOT at all been the way I had expected it to go. I am going to give the timeline of events:

Wednesday, April 7:

Laparoscopy surgery in the afternoon. When the nurses discharged me they told me there was quite a bit of endo found and removed. They gave me the typical discharge instructions and made it sound like I would be feeling awesome by the weekend. I had chosen to stay with my parents for the remainder of the week. When my boyfriend dropped me off I was actually feeling pretty good! The anesthesiologist did a fabulous job, so I was very alert with little nausea. They had also drugged me wonderfully so I was really comfortable!

Thursday, April 8:

My incision sites were quite sore, the pain was moderate, I was gassy and had moderate shoulder pain. It really was not too bad- I felt what I had expected.

Friday, April 9:

I was having some difficuties staying on top of the pain with the meds they gave me, so we had to go with something stronger than vicodin. Same symptoms as before, but maybe a little worse.

Saturday, April 10:

I had elected to have my parents take me back to my house to get some peace and quiet at my own place. Most symptoms were the same, but shoulder pain had gone away, which was great. At that point I was really expecting to be feeling better.

Sunday, April 10:

I woke up early and to my surprise my incision soreness was just about gone, my apettite was increasing and although I was still feeling quite a bit of pelvic and lower back pain, I was feeling energetic. I went for a walk around the block since it was sunny outside and came home and actually cooked myself some food. It was awesome. Unfortunately, by late morning/early afternoon, I felt I was dying! The pain was SO DEEP in my pelvic area, in my lower back and inner thighs. I was crying and panicking. I knew something was not right. I called the dr and the physician on-call happened to be the one who assisted with my surgery. He said that he was not surprised about the pain I was in and offerred to tell me the details of my surgery. YES PLEASE! So apparently a "fair amount" of endo was found on my rectal tissue. And behind my cervix as well as in the surrounding ligaments. He said that operating on rectal tissue makes the surgery "pretty dicey." He said many gyn surgeons dont even have the skills to remove it (yikes). My dr did a phenomenal job, in his opinion, but that my recovery is going to cause some deeper pain and my recovery will likely take a bit longer than a typical lap. Whew! I am so glad he could talk with me and share this information, but it would have been great to hear it on surgery day! Anyway, he then asked if I had any bowel issues prior to surgery. I told him that constipation had been a huge problem for me for quite awhile now, and that each time I went to the bathroom it was extremely painful during and for at least a half hour after. Ugh. But he said that was likely caused by the endo, and once i heal up it should be all better! Then I told him I hadnt used the bathroon since the surgery. EEK! He was quite alarmed by this and said the constipation needed to be taken care of ASAP. He told me what to take and to call in the morning.

Monday, April 11:

Well, I didnt poop. :( I was up all night in terrible pain-pain worse than I had ever experienced. I called the dr and they sent me to the hospital. I spent that day kept high as a kite through my iv's and praying to God nothing else was wrong. That evening my CT scan showed severe constipation. They said the pain was the result of stools built up and aggravating the areas that were trying to heal where the endo was removed. Ugh. Calcium Citrate drink here I come. I drank the bottle and was up pissing out of my ass for the next 14 hours or so... :(

Tuesday, April 12:

I was dehydrated and EXHAUSTED. My whole body was cleared out and I was feeling like hell and just hoping my body would begin to heal. I called the dr crying over the pain and she said I needed sleep. They got me some super hard core drugs and I finally slept that night and most of Wednesday!

Wednesday:

Stayed on meds and slept off and on all day. I could finally feel some healing taking place! Sure, the pain was present but it was definitely decreasing. I just kept my diet high in prunes and continued with tons of fluids and stool softeners.

Thursday:

Still improving, beginning to eat again.

Friday:

Emotional breakdown. I sobbed and sobbed, realizing the pain was increasing again and I was constipated AGAIN. Seriously?? Another Calcium Citrate drink...

Saturday:

Still constipated.

Today:

Well, I spent the morning on the toilet. Yuck. It sucked. I am in pain and afraid to eat. When will this end??? I have to go back to work Monday. Lord, please heal my body...

Joy!

Well, I am 4 days post lap today. Yesterday I was honestly getting a little nervous that something was wrong because I was in excruciating pain and I thought I should be healing faster. However, this morning of course I was still feeling pain, but more soreness. And I have been very constipated so I decided to go and get some apples at the store. I successfully took a walk around the block to the store! Oh, the things we take for granted, right!? I actually got to enjoy the sunshine and blue skies and a little walk to one of my favorite little organic markets. It was brilliant. Hopefully I am on the road to better days! Thank you, Jesus, for the beautiful outdoors and the ability to walk! :)

The Lap!

SO, I had my laparoscopy yesterday afternoon. It went very well and my surgeon said that he found what looked like endo and removed it ALL!! Yay! Of course, they are sending it for biopsy, but he expects there is a good chance I will be back to normal life and in minimal pain after I have recovered. I sure hope he's right!! Yesterday I was quite comfortable when they sent me home, but despite the pain meds I have been pretty miserable since the middle of the night last night. The incisions are very sore and there are two major spots in my lower pelvic region that just THROB off and on!! I hope it's just healing taking place. Iguess for now time will tell, but I am quite hopeful!! Well, I don't have the energy for a long post right now, so that's all for now!!

Fighting Anxiety...

First of all, I must say that I have an awesome surgeon/gyn. He has a holistic view of medicine and deep down I can trust him. Anyway, with all of this pain I have been really putting my faith in the laparoscopy. Each day I tell myself that the surgery will make it all better. Well, Dr. R. snapped me back into reality!! *sad face* I am grateful that he is realistic but it really shattered my dreams of being cured next week! During my pre-op appointment today he told me that we can hope they find something they can fix, but even if they do, I may not be out of pain. He also warned that it is also likely they won't find anything to remove and that's when I nearly burried my head in my lap and cried. I know it's common sense that laparoscopic surgery is not always curative, but I guess it's just been what I could hold on to to get me through. And now I don't know what to grasp. Yes, I am a Christian, and I do trust the Lord, but I am also pretty down to earth, and I can easily admit that my faith is faulty at times. It is so hard to trust God when He's really just not that tangible... I guess it is something to work through during these Percocet filled days...

Pre-Op

Well, I have my pre-op appointment for my laparoscopy today... that's about all I have the energy to post right now...