GI Stuff & My Lifestyle Change

***This post contains TMI****

So, now that you have been fairly warned, I will tell you about some good news today.
Part of the reason I am living with this new, quite restrictive food plan, is because of my painful BMs (bowel movements). When I did this food plan before I had lost too much weight and had to quit, but it really improved my quality of life in terms of not wanting to crawl in a hole and die due to the hours of excruciating pain that followed each BM. It was truly a nightmare. Anyway, the good news of today is that I had one this morning and it hurt, but not nearly as bad!! I can't believe it!! Sooo exciting!!

On another good note, I had an appointment with the pain clinic yesterday. I have to say, I was quite nervous. I was nervous about many things: being seen as a "pill seeker," having a provider that didn't seem to care, hear or want to understand what I am going through, etc. Well, none of the above happened!! I am STOKED that the NP I saw there, was super kind, attentive, empathetic, competent, thorough and had a hollistic approach, which is an awesome added plus! We decided on the Lidoderm Patch, Oxycodone (test to see how many I need per day, and then decide if I should try something long-acting-which scares me), and Gabapentin/Neurontin. Soooo, I guess we will see how this new plan goes!!

Wish me luck!

UGH!!!

OMG, I just really need to vent right now! I feel like CRAP today! I had a weekend of trying to relieve myself of a week's worth of constipation- now that problem is "fixed," but I barely slept last night and I am in SO MUCH PAIN today, at work, and running out of pain meds. I am STILL waiting on some blood work so I can figure out why I am so damn tired all the time, why my scalp is flaking off, why my skin is so oily it's disgusting!! This is definitely one of those days where endometriosis is kicking my ass and I'm just too tired to fight back. I am trying to find a specialist in my area because I am just not pleased with my doctors currently. This is so stressful!!

***TMI ALERT*** My recent GI issues. :(

Now, rather than my pelvic pain being all related to my female organs and endo, I have some severe GI issues going on. It has been miserable to go through. Specifically, with constipation. I have had issues with it on and off for about 20 years... I had seen different specialists over the years, and recently had my 2nd lap, which included removal of endo from rectal tissue. Now I am dealing with SEVERE constipation. I spent 3 days in the hospital last week, and I was released last Saturday. There was about 5 lbs of rock hard stool in me and it took them 3 days to get me to pass it. :( Now I am taking Miralax drinks, Senna, stool softeners and fiber supplements. I feel so exhausted because I am having intermittent diarrhea, but the doctors don't want me to let up yet. When I go #2 it is SO PAINFUL even if it's "loose." It sucks- I start shaking and sweating and I have to push forever no matter how much and how soft or hard it is. Sorry for all the yucky details, but I am so embarrassed and IN SO MUCH PAIN. Now the docs don't know if it is more endo or an inflammatory bowel disease such as Chron's. We have to wait a little longer to check because everything is so inflamed. I feel like I'm in hell. :( In the next two weeks or so I will see a GI specialist who will be able to help sort this out. My body is such a mess and now I am constantly obsessing over when I last "went" and when I will "go" again. UGH. I just want to be well again.

Another Post-Op Update

Well, I am 20 days post op now. I am back at work as of yesterday and the pain is moderate. I'll take that over completely debilitating any day! Last week they started me on Depo-provera to decrease chances of endo returning. I am somewhat hesitant about this for 2 reasons:

Not that I have to worry about my weight, but the dr. said it would increase my appetite, so that should help my continued eating disorder recovery. Luckily I am in a place where I don't panic at the thought, but it was still a little scary.

Also, I am lactose intolerant, therefore I get my calcium intake from supplements. I know Depo can decrease bone density and I already have some of the risk factors. Answer: we will test my bone density in one year.

For now, I will trust the docs on that.

The most annoying part of this whole situation is the "bathroom" issue. I still cannot GO! I am sooo constipated all the time and it is just a nightmare, and I am sure a major source of the pain. :( Poor stopped up me. I am working on it... fiber, stool softeners, fruit and veggies and TONS of water!!!

Hope to be out of pain soon, but it's great to be working (through the pain) and not home laying in bed feeling worthless. I continue to praise God for giving me such gracious employers throughout this whole ordeal!!!

Oh, I almost forgot, I had my first ever acupuncture appointment on Friday!! I loved it! I hope it helps. I think I will go back next week. :)

Recovering??

This laparoscopy has NOT at all been the way I had expected it to go. I am going to give the timeline of events:

Wednesday, April 7:

Laparoscopy surgery in the afternoon. When the nurses discharged me they told me there was quite a bit of endo found and removed. They gave me the typical discharge instructions and made it sound like I would be feeling awesome by the weekend. I had chosen to stay with my parents for the remainder of the week. When my boyfriend dropped me off I was actually feeling pretty good! The anesthesiologist did a fabulous job, so I was very alert with little nausea. They had also drugged me wonderfully so I was really comfortable!

Thursday, April 8:

My incision sites were quite sore, the pain was moderate, I was gassy and had moderate shoulder pain. It really was not too bad- I felt what I had expected.

Friday, April 9:

I was having some difficuties staying on top of the pain with the meds they gave me, so we had to go with something stronger than vicodin. Same symptoms as before, but maybe a little worse.

Saturday, April 10:

I had elected to have my parents take me back to my house to get some peace and quiet at my own place. Most symptoms were the same, but shoulder pain had gone away, which was great. At that point I was really expecting to be feeling better.

Sunday, April 10:

I woke up early and to my surprise my incision soreness was just about gone, my apettite was increasing and although I was still feeling quite a bit of pelvic and lower back pain, I was feeling energetic. I went for a walk around the block since it was sunny outside and came home and actually cooked myself some food. It was awesome. Unfortunately, by late morning/early afternoon, I felt I was dying! The pain was SO DEEP in my pelvic area, in my lower back and inner thighs. I was crying and panicking. I knew something was not right. I called the dr and the physician on-call happened to be the one who assisted with my surgery. He said that he was not surprised about the pain I was in and offerred to tell me the details of my surgery. YES PLEASE! So apparently a "fair amount" of endo was found on my rectal tissue. And behind my cervix as well as in the surrounding ligaments. He said that operating on rectal tissue makes the surgery "pretty dicey." He said many gyn surgeons dont even have the skills to remove it (yikes). My dr did a phenomenal job, in his opinion, but that my recovery is going to cause some deeper pain and my recovery will likely take a bit longer than a typical lap. Whew! I am so glad he could talk with me and share this information, but it would have been great to hear it on surgery day! Anyway, he then asked if I had any bowel issues prior to surgery. I told him that constipation had been a huge problem for me for quite awhile now, and that each time I went to the bathroom it was extremely painful during and for at least a half hour after. Ugh. But he said that was likely caused by the endo, and once i heal up it should be all better! Then I told him I hadnt used the bathroon since the surgery. EEK! He was quite alarmed by this and said the constipation needed to be taken care of ASAP. He told me what to take and to call in the morning.

Monday, April 11:

Well, I didnt poop. :( I was up all night in terrible pain-pain worse than I had ever experienced. I called the dr and they sent me to the hospital. I spent that day kept high as a kite through my iv's and praying to God nothing else was wrong. That evening my CT scan showed severe constipation. They said the pain was the result of stools built up and aggravating the areas that were trying to heal where the endo was removed. Ugh. Calcium Citrate drink here I come. I drank the bottle and was up pissing out of my ass for the next 14 hours or so... :(

Tuesday, April 12:

I was dehydrated and EXHAUSTED. My whole body was cleared out and I was feeling like hell and just hoping my body would begin to heal. I called the dr crying over the pain and she said I needed sleep. They got me some super hard core drugs and I finally slept that night and most of Wednesday!

Wednesday:

Stayed on meds and slept off and on all day. I could finally feel some healing taking place! Sure, the pain was present but it was definitely decreasing. I just kept my diet high in prunes and continued with tons of fluids and stool softeners.

Thursday:

Still improving, beginning to eat again.

Friday:

Emotional breakdown. I sobbed and sobbed, realizing the pain was increasing again and I was constipated AGAIN. Seriously?? Another Calcium Citrate drink...

Saturday:

Still constipated.

Today:

Well, I spent the morning on the toilet. Yuck. It sucked. I am in pain and afraid to eat. When will this end??? I have to go back to work Monday. Lord, please heal my body...