Sorry, ICLW!

I didn't do a very good job keeping up this time. I just had a lot of personal and medical stuff going on and got too distracted. :(

I <3 Coloring!

I love to whip out the books and crayons when I'm feeling yucky! Try it sometime! :)

Blogger Alias

Well, I do have 2 blogs. One is open and friends and family know about it and follow it. This one is "anonymous." I do this because I write about some of my innermost thoughts, feelings and experiences that I dont share as openly. However, after finding this blogging community of sorts, I am really loving the support, feedback and exchanging of info about the harships of endo, pelvic pain, faith and other difficulties we face as women. I am trying to think of something to name myself. It may sound cheesy but I have seen others do it and I actually think it's kinda cool! Haha. So I am trying to think of something... let me know if you have ideas.

ICLW May- 15 Things About ME! :)

1. I want to be a mommy. I want to be pregnant with that darling, kicking belly and experience the joy and pains of delivery and nurture and love my children through their lives.

2. I want to live in China for at least a year at some point. And work at Bethel, the orphanage for blind children there.

3. I want to be PAIN-FREE! some background

4. I want to start running regularly again. I want my pain level to get low enough that I can run and run and run... I miss it.

5. I have a wonderful boyfriend, but soon I will be ready to enjoy the challenge of marriage. Also, secretly, I hate sleeping alone (we are waiting until marriage), so I can't wait to snuggle all night with my hubby someday.

6. I am a hard worker. Kind of a perfectionist. I expect a lot of myself, so being so ill and in pain life has been rough for me. I feel worthless often these days.

7. On the flip side of #6, I have to constantly remind myself that my purpose in life is living to love and serve Jesus Christ. Which means, to love and serve others. I am really challenging myself to choose JOY each day whether it is spend all day in bed in pain, or at work helping others.

8. I think romantic love can be so complicated and confusing at times, but it can also be worth it.

9. I trust easily. I immediately see good in each person and I am learning that some people just aren't good. It sounds naiive, but I am trying to be more careful without losing the part of me that gives others the benefit of the doubt.

10. I have grown up "thin and pretty"- whether I have believed it or not, I have heard it from others. I am constantly trying to focus inward on how "pretty" my heart is each day. I hope to teach that principle to a daughter in the future. Inward thoughts and actions and integrity are so much more worth focusing on and "beautifying" than outward looks. my post about this here

11. Still, no matter how much I focus on my heart I will ALWAYS envy those with extra long and thick eye lashes!! Haha. I want them SO BADLY!!

12. I can be quite an introvert. Sometimes I think if I were locked in my apartment for a week all alone but had some good books, movies and dark chocolate, I might be just fine.

13. I do really love my friends and family though. I have been blessed with some wonderful people in my life.

14. The beauty of God's grace overwhelms me. It makes life not fair, but that's the beauty of it.

15. I LOVE SUNSHINE!!! I wish I could have a full-time job where I am required to lay out in my suit eating cold strawberries and drinking filtered water.

Welcome to my blog, everyone!! :)

I had a hospital stay last weekend. Maybe I will post about it tomorrow. I wanted to kick off ICLW with a happy note!

***Hugs***

Facebook Support Group

I joined a Facebook group a couple weeks ago that is all women and it is basically a support group for those with Endometriosis!! It has been SO HELPFUL to go and vent frustrations and have so many others who know exactly what you are going through. I have found it to be really helpful when I am feeling lonely or down. And it also feels great to be able to help others and respond to some of their posts. Just wanted to spread the word on this community.

Sweat!!

Ugh, so now I am experiencing some major hot flashes during the day and I am waking up at night with wet sheets and hair- literally, wet. What the heck is that all about?? The pain has been terrible last night and this morning. I have come in to work for a couple of hours and then it's back home and to the hot bath with lavendar epsom salts and my bed! I am really getting sick of this! It sucks so bad. :( I will be seeing my gyn tomorrow, but I am not feeling very hopeful for answers. I am just hoping she can write me a script for something that will actually relieve the pain! I don't even expect to be out of pain completely, but even a low level of ability to function outside of bed would be great. I wish I could figure out what all of this sweating is about... it's gross and it's giving me anxiety.

The BATH!!

I found a new love!! The bathtub!! Oh my gosh, it has never felt better! For the past three days the hot bath has relieved my pain (temporarily). If I could move into the hot bath and bring waterproof books, my phone, movies and pillows, I would stay in there constantly! I recommend this for anyone who is suffering. It hasn't been this way in the past but this week for some reason the bath has worked miracles for me!!

Ahhhhh :)

OUCH!!

So I woke today feeling extremely hopeful this morning! It was the third morning in a row that I woke up in less than moderate pain in weeks. I am supposed to be running an 8k in the Shamrock Run this coming weekend and I have not been running in 5 weeks (yikes)!! I was really excited to get back to it this afternoon, however, here I am, at the end of my workday in a whole lot of pain. I don't know what it is, but sitting straight up in a chair just KILLS me by the end of the day! Does anyone else experience this??? It's like there is a knife stabbing through my pelvis. I can't take it. I guess the running shoes will have to wait for tomorrow (sigh). Time to get home to my bed and heating pad [insert swear word here] I am sooo disappointed.